I woke to the smell of spring drifting through an open window. Just that. The crushing nausea and the pain I that I had known for days was an arms reach away, but it wasn't sitting heavy on my stomach. I smiled. Tonia was still sleeping beside me. It was an easy glance from her face to the window past and the sliver of sky framed there.
Here's the thing about illness or injury. It can rob us of moments like this. Moments when what is right before our eyes is invisible somehow to our minds. This is why I fought so hard for all the second chances that I'd aided and witnessed. Gored by bulls in Texas, Rammed by buses in Boston. Shootings, stabbings, poisonings. Cancer. If a second chance could be won, that person could find their moments again.
My moment right now asked this question: If this was your last spring, would you celebrate it differently? Would the knowledge that it was the last rob any of it's beauty and joy? In the brief respite of my symptoms I looked tenderly at her face, and at the sliver of sky beyond. Each and every moment that I have cherished blooms anew this spring, and for the times when I can't see them I have transplanted the gratitudes of every other spring right into this one now overflowing moment.
This is beautiful, Deb. So many people who have been ill claim they have a new appreciation for everyday things. I wish you could have it without the illness.
ReplyDeleteNanis,thank you, but I have never been without it. :)
DeleteYou are in a realm that only those who've been there before you know, but that you recognize the simple beauty and the love that surrounds you speaks volumes about where you are right now...and that is a mindset that will aid you more than anything to get through this...along with the love of your family and friends. Love you Deb <3
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Rose.
DeleteDeb, you put so succinctly and tenderly what others have felt too. Every day is a blessing, every sunrise and sunset and each aroma that wafts past us. I am grateful every day for each and every breath. I believe, though, that you have always walked in beauty.
ReplyDeleteThanks Donna. I have done my best to follow.Do you know the poem; Who Walks With Beauty. (David Morton) ?
Deletemy fave quote by Lao Tzu: "Simplicity is the source of all truth" is what your writing here says to me....I am grateful every day for knowing that you are my friend....for your stories,your kindness and for seeing that mega watt smile of yours :) <3 ~gayle
ReplyDeleteGayle, thanks so much. You are so dear!
DeleteTime to roar my friend :)
ReplyDeleteWes, what a smile this brought! Hugs!
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