The origin of the word cancer is attributed to Hippocrates (460-370 BC). He described the tentacles of tumors as 'crab -like'. Carcinoma or carcinos. A Roman physician, Celsus in 28-50 BC used the Latin: cancer. Then Galen in 130-200 AD, used the Greek word for swelling, Oncos. No matter what you call it, no one wants to hear the diagnosis; or walk through the doors of an Oncology office for the first time.
I was glad Tonia was able to go with me.
Many of my questions couldn't be answered.At least not at this initial visit. The preservative used with my biopsied tissues apparently degraded the sample so that the markers used to stage the lymphoma couldn't be identified. For now that leaves us dependent on more scans, and the need for a ENT referral. I should know more next week.This update though is not the only reason that I write about the visit. I think it brought me closer to my own emotions about my diagnosis, than anything else thus far. Telling loved ones was more difficult; but I was focused on their well-being. That first office visit was the difference between describing a swim with ice flows, and actually taking the plunge.
It wasn't a stellar beginning to an important relationship either. Although an encouraging sign hung on the waiting room wall, "Let the desk know if you wait more than 30 minutes past your scheduled appointment", in my case I spoke with them twice. It seems I had been actually scheduled an hour later than my appointment time. When I looked around the room, I could only guess how difficult that might have been for some of the people waiting with me. Some were far too young and impatient, and should have been playing soccer on such a beautiful day. Others, wheelchair bound and vacant were barely able to shift positions to relieve discomfort. So here is a bit of advice that I hope you will never need. If you have a loved one or friend facing a first oncology appointment, offer to go with them. If they decline, ask them who is going with them. Encourage them to choose someone who will remember what is said, and with whom they feel most comfortable sharing their emotions.
Note to the person behind the desk:
You don't have to be a nurse to offer a cool cloth to the woman sweating in the corner, in an obvious panic attack. Just do it.
Good advice. No one should go alone. It's lonely enough to hold your diagnosis in your head.
ReplyDeleteI have had good teachers. Too many to count. A long parade of faces. Still, it is different for everyone. There is truly no right or wrong way to deal with the emotions.
DeleteI was stationed at MCAS (Marine Corps Air Station) Yuma when I got the news of my mother's breast cancer back in the day when it was a death sentence for most. I was a thousand miles away. It was a very large shock and I understand how alone it can make one feel. I was very fortunate, my mother was not alone, and you are not either.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how hard that was for you. I was fortunate to be with my mother when she was diagnosed.
DeleteYou are so right that I am not alone. Wonderfully and marvelously supported at every turn.
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